Wednesday 30 June 2010

My new sister

About two weeks ago, whilst on holiday, I picked up my mobile phone to find that I had missed 11 calls from the same number - my brother, Benji's. I think I knew straight away why he was calling, but I made no comment to Dave or the kids. I just called Benji's number, and he immediately answered. I knew, again, by the sound of his voice, why he had called. So as he told me his news, I was not shocked.
You see, this news has been coming for a while. To be honest, I have known that this news would come for a couple of years now. I have prayed that it would. I have looked forward to it. It is probably the best news I've heard in ages.

Benji and his girlfriend, Heather had been sharing a cream tea on a sunny Sunday morning, by Exeter Cathedral, when Benji decided that he would ask the most important question of his life. When he asked Heather to marry him, she said "yes".

My future sister-in-law, Heather, is probably the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. She is tall and slim, with lovely light brown, wavy hair, and big pretty eyes. Heather is funny, smiley and happy. She is gentle and clever. She loves Jesus, and she loves my brother. She has a good relationship with her parents and three siblings, and everyone that meets her is thoroughly impressed by her. She is a head-turner and a heart-warmer, and I love her so very much.

I remember when Benji first met Heather. He and Dave had been to the casting auditions of a church theatre production. They returned "full-of-beans", waxing lyrical about this beautiful girl who might be playing the role of Mary, in a modern-day version of the Christmas Story. They spoke about how pretty she was, and how friendly she seemed. Benji was clearly very impressed, and in the few weeks that followed, I teased and hassled him about when he was going to ask her out!!

I remember that a couple of months later, for Indy's fancy dress birthday party, Heather turned up, dressed as a mermaid. Not only did she look completely lovely, but she clearly was ready for a great time, dressed in bluey-greeny clothes, sparkly make-up and massive flippers!!! I remember thinking how brilliant she was, and how she clearly was not at all interested in impressing anyone, but only in having loads of fun.

Time has passed, and I have seen Benji and Heather grow together, and fall in love. To see my little brother in such a fantastically strong, God-centred and fun-filled relationship has filled me with joy and peace.

Last year, I had the great privilege of spending time with Heather at a Christian women's conference, Cherish. She supported me, cried with me and laughed with me. She encouraged me as I faced some struggles, and made me love her even more.

There's something else that I admire in Heather. She is an adventurer...and independent adventurer. She travels to Finland, all alone, to study for five months. She seeks God independently, and she stands out from the crowd, being herself without fear. All of this she does, with gentleness and humility. I love that.

I have just been looking for a knitting pattern for a delicate wedding shawl for Heather. I don't expect her to wear it, but I really want to make it for her, because I love her. My children love her, my husband loves her, my parents love her and my brother loves her. We love her because she adds something special to our family. She brings humour, creativity, godliness and and peace. And, she completes my brother.

Of all of the women that could have been in my brother's life, Heather is the best. She is more than I could have asked for, for my lovely, precious brother.

I hope that she reads this.

Heather, my treasured new sister. I love you so very much. I look forward to sharing more of our lives with each other. I often boast about my future sister-in-law, and my precious friend. I am so blessed to know you. Please lean on me when you need to. Thank you for saying "yes" to my brother. You really are lovely. You are an answer to prayer. xxx

Tuesday 29 June 2010

Productivity and Fruitfulness

Today, so far, has been a fairly productive day. Productivity has not been a word that has been relevant to me for such a long time, but things are changing.

Today, between school and nursery drop-offs, I had coffee with a really precious friend. After we'd exchanged the usual pleasantries and sat ourselves down, I asked one of those "scary" questions. These questions generally relate to something real. I've never been one for shallow conversation (which I'm sure irritates and troubles some people - I must appear very nosey) but I find asking these questions often releases the most amazing friendships. The following questions come under the "scary question" category...

"How are you?....no, really, how are you?"
"So, what do you really want to do with your life?"
"How's your marriage?"
"Can I pray for you?"
"Have I upset you?"
"Are you ok, finacially?"
"How is your relationship with your boyfriend?" (this is VERY scary when posed to one of our gorgeous young people at church!!)

There are so many more, and, as much as I get scared asking them, I love the effects that these questions have.

I asked my friend a scary question. She answered me truthfully. We talked, we laughed, she cried. While we talked, we picked fruit from trees in her garden. She gave the fruit to me, and I brought it home and turned it into jam. This afternoon, I'll drop her pot of jam over to her.

I love making jam - strawberry, gooseberry, plum, raspberry, blackberry, elderberry...it's all good. It also really simple -

Basic Jam Recipe

1 kilo of fruit
1 kilo of granulated sugar
the juice of 1 lemon

1.Put everyhing in a pan, gently heat until the sugar dissolves, bring to the boil.
2.Using a plate that has been sitting in the freezer for a while, blob a drop of jam onto the plate, let it cool, then push your finger through it. If it wrinkles, it's ready. If not, re-boil for another 5 minutes and test again.
3.Pour the jam into sterilised warm jars, lid on, leave to cool.

Three pots of Cherry Jam later....

Today has not been hugely busy. I did a bit of washing-up (no...we do not have a dishwasher!!)made some jam and chatted with a friend. I'm hoping to go gooseberry picking with the kids after school. It may not have been busy, but it has been productive, fruitful...and full of fruit!!!

It is such a privilege to be used by God to stand alongside a friend in need. As my peers suffer, I want to be instrumental in their healing. I want to encourage them as they move closer to living the abundant life that Jesus offers.

Washing the dishes is HUGE for me. After about 9 years of depression, I am feeling very diffierent. I am able to wash, clean, hanging clothes out, put my kids to bed and enjoy my own company withou feeling guilty. God has, and is still, healing me. What an amazing God!!

And so...today I have been thoroughly productive and fruitful, and I feel very satisfied.

Monday 21 June 2010

I'll be honest...I'm really not sure what to write about for this post. A few things are going around in my head that I do need to get out, to process, but I'm not sure that this is the place to do it. If it is the place to do it, then I'm not quite sure how to word it.

I have always been hugely frustrated by those who "speak their mind" with little regard for the ways in which it may affect others.

I am a huge (and unashamed) Big Brother fan. I love it's reality and I'm rather nosey, so being able to watch the interaction between other people, without feeling like I'm spying, is rather lovely. Obviously, Big Brother tends to feature rather dramatic characters and sometimes some "unsavoury behaviour." But I am not afraid of life in all its shades of black, white and grey. I enjoy eviction nights and the interviews with Davina, but I am hugely irritated by those people who, upon being asked if they have any regrets, reply, "D'ya know what, Davina? I was just being myself and speaking my mind."

When I hear these words being uttered, I want to shout, "Well, good for you!!! How clever you are for allowing all of your own characteristics to shine through (even if some of them are pretty rubbish.)? What a hero...." (note the sarcasm?!?!)

You see, we can all "speak as we find." We are all able to verbalise our opinions and feelings concerning others. It is very easy to make statements, whether helpful and uplifting or not, about the lives and habits of others. But, do we need to? Do we have the right? Should we not just shut up and mind our own business?

As a Christian, I am called (according to the Bible, which I believe to be the Word Of God), to "speak the truth in love". It can be difficult to speak the truth, if the truth may cost you your friendship with someone. If we are speaking the truth to another, it may hurt their feelings or cause them great distress. But it may help them to receive a bit of "tough love" by hearing about ways to improve an area of their lives. So, you see, being honest and real is very important. Many people use this verse from the Bible to justify some pretty harsh and rather sharp criticism. But it is the word "love" that needs to rule. It is from a loving heart that such "truth" should come. So, when we feel a need to "speak into each other's lives", let's do it with love in our hearts.

I have been vigorously shaken in my role as a Mum. I have seriously questioned my motivations in the ways I speak to, listen to, and spend time with my children. I have doubted myself beyond any other previous doubts. I have wondered if I deserve my husband, if I take him for granted and if our marriage is lacking in balance. I have worried, cried, lost sleep, and despaired. I have prayed, read my Bible and shared with close friends.

And I have come to a conclusion. The enemy wants me to fail. He wants me to suffer, and to give up on my children, my family and my marriage. I will not. I shall not be overcome by anxiety. I will not receive the enemy's interference. I will trust in the Truth of the Word of God. He has appointed and annointed me, according to His Will. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He will hide me under His wings. I will trust the truths spoken to me, in love, and I will stand against lies in the name of Jesus.

Yep, that's it...said and done...that is what I wanted to say. It has been processed, and I am free. Sometimes, blogging is so much more than a few comments on life.