Thursday 21 October 2010

I'll be honest (regular readers will know this is pretty usual for me!!) It has been a tough old week.

Mondays are never really a problem for me. They are always rather full, but I actually look forward to them, as a moment of calm and solitude, after what is usually a busy and chaotic weekend. This Monday was the same: wake up; shower; make packed lunches; shepherd kids out of the back door and to the car, climbing over buckets, scooters, bikes and mud pies; drive to school; pray with the kids; say "Goodbye, I love you, God bless you!" to Roo; go into school with Indy and Seth; set up for the weekly Mum's Coffee Morning; say "Goodbye, I love you, God bless you!" to Indy when the bell goes, and she wanders round to her classroom; wait for mums to arrive, while Seth attempts to write his name on the white board with a permanent marker (quickly to be replaced with a white-board marker); greet the mums; make drinks for them; drink coffee; avoid the chocolate biscuits; eat chocolate biscuits; realise what the time is; rush off, dragging Seth by his coat; throw him into the car; drive to nursery; drop him off five minutes late; apologise for being late; say "Goodbye, I love you, God bless you" to Seth; get back in the car; drive back to school; go back to Mum's Coffee Morning; tell funny stories about children's references to family secrets in public; say goodbye to mums; tidy up; rush off; drive to Women's Bible Study; arrive ten minutes late; park badly; apologise for lateness; tell funny stories about children's references to family secrets in public; drink more coffee; read Bible; discuss with other women; realise what the time is; rush out to car; drive back to nursery; collect Seth, along with soggy painting with bits of pasta falling off; drive home; eat lunch. That's my usual Monday morning.

This Monday was different. After dropping Seth at nursery and then returning to school, our wonderful headteacher, Mrs Gellatly asked me to come into her office, for a chat. We talked about Roo, and an incident on Friday, where he had shouted at a Lunchtime Controller. She was very kind and almost apologetic when she suggested that he take a break from school lunchtimes. She felt that he needed some time out, to calm down.

You see, a few months ago, Roo was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. Aspergers Syndrome is an ASD - Autistic Spectrum Disorder. Every day we are learning more about what it means. More specifically, every day we are learning about what it means for Roo.

Roo needs a break from lunchtimes at school, because he sometimes finds social situations difficult to cope with. Lunchtimes, on a playground with 209 other children is hard for Roo. He has no structure to his lunchtime. He sees many different groups of people. He watches them whizz around, running, shouting, laughing, skipping, interacting with each other and burning off their energy. He hears their shouts, laughs, screams, cries, rhymes and stories. Everything is too busy, too noisy, too hectic, and he becomes very frightened. Fear manifests itself in many different ways - bravado, angry outbursts, crying, hiding, lashing out. Roo needs a break from these feelings, which are caused by school lunchtimes.

There are many social situations in which Roo copes really well. He loves meeting new people and he loves spending time with older children, teenagers and adults. He enjoys formal occasions like weddings, and has no problems at all with going out for meals and on day trips. He loves the cinema and theatre, and most people would not even notice that Roo is any different to any "normal" child.

But living with Roo is a different matter. Today is INSET Day, which means no school, and no usual routine. He finds any change to his routine very upsetting, and often becomes manic or angry. He seems to be "up for a ruck" most of the time. He has one-sided conversations with us, where he lacks the awareness of our boredom, after he has spoken about something for a very long time, and we have not responded. Roo is obsessed with Doctor Who. He used to be obsessed with vacuum cleaners and dragons. Roo often seems unable to understand his own feelings, particularly when he is anxious. This makes it hard to communicate with him at times. And he flies off the handle at the slightest inconvenience to his day.

So, I have started to read. A lot. I have started using my creativity to help him. I have made him Daily Kit Lists, which are the size of business cards, and are attached to his bag, by a keyring. I have devised routine lists, for weekends and school holidays - Roo has always found these days unsettling, and taken his anxiety out on us. I have tried to engage my other children in understanding and helping Roo, as we all help each other in our different areas of need.

Lunchtimes this week have been hectic - an extra two journeys to and from school - but it has been good to learn more about what Roo needs. Sometimes, our children get poorly. When this happens, they need time to recuperate. It is the same for kids with Aspergers. Sometimes, they need a break. They need some time away from the chaos and busyness of school. In that time, they need some peace, their home and a cosy hug from their mum. So, that's what we did, and for now, it seems to have helped.

After the half term holidays, Roo's lunchtimes will be different. Lunch in the canteen, reading or playing a game with friends in the library, a short run around and then back to the classroom for the afternoon. Hopefully this routine will help Roo to cope better with lunchtimes.

As I have said, everyday we are learning more and I'll let you know what more we learn.

It is said that Sir Isaac Newton, Thomas Jefferson and Hans Christian Andersen all had Aspergers. Those of you who have met Roo will know that he is hard to forget - such a big character, so friendly and so very intelligent. For those of you who haven't had the privilege of meeting him yet, remember the name - Reuben Roper - you heard it here first!!!

A recipe

I don't often do this, but my blog title demands such an entry. Here is a recipe for my latest invention. Inspired by a Nigella recipe and my brother, Benji's recent veggie growing success with his gorgeous girlie, Heather, I decided to make this. It is a cross between Banana Bread, Carrot Cake and something you might eat as part of a detox.....Eaten whilst warm, sitting in front of the fire, watching scarved and hatted passers-by stare longing through the window, makes this cake even more beautiful. Yum yum yum.....

Sal's Courgette Loaf Cake

2 desert apples, grated

same weight in raw courgette, grated

100g raisins/sultanas

2 eggs, beaten

125g butter, melted

150g brown sugar

1 tsp cinnamon

175g plain flour

2tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp bicarb

1. Mix apple, courgette, raisins, eggs, sugar, butter and cinnamon together in a large bowl.

2. Combine flour, baking powder and bicarb in a smaller bowl and then add, a third-at-a-time to the wet ingredients.

3. Stir until fully combined and pour into a greased and lined loaf tin.

4. Bake @ Gas 3 for 60 - 70 minutes.

5. Leave to cool in the tin.

Oh. My. Goodness

As you can see from the photo, it won't last long...