For a few days, I've been psyching myself up to writing a post about my husband. It's virtually impossible to fit all the things that I want to say about him into one post. So this is only Part One.
Dave and I met in October 2000. I don't actually remember it, but he does. We were at a mutual friend's flat-warming party. He remembers being introduced to me and Roo. Roo was two weeks old and asleep in his car seat. Dave and I went to the same church. I had been part of the church since the age of 5 and Dave had moved to the area for a new job.
Over the year that followed that meeting, Dave and I chatted occasionally. At a barbeque we talked about films and I recall him acting out a section of "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels". It really made me laugh. One Sunday evening after church, Dave and I had sat next to each other at a coffee bar with the rest of the "church lot". He had just returned from visiting a girlfriend. He had told her that he didn't want to continue seeing her. He felt really guilty and we talked about making difficult choices, and how neither of us enjoyed hurting others or letting them down.
Dave had also been a guest at Roo's 1st Birthday party. He had been invited at the last minute, but had turned up with a lovely, thoughtful present for Roo. It was a "Maisy Pop-Up Book". In the weeks that followed, it became a firm favourite with Roo. My mum had become suddenly aware of this eligible young bachelor and mentioned him every now and then!!
After hearing a sermon at church, everything changed. Our pastor spoke on letters. He told us that he had received many critical letters and how difficult it was to receive them. He spoke about how unhelpful they were. He also spoke about how wonderful it had been to receive encouragement and praise in a letter. At the end of his sermon, he challenged us to write at least two letters with the express purpose of encouraging and praising others.
I received a letter from Dave. It read;
Dear Sally,
Thank you for being such a blessing to me. Thank you for being funny and making me laugh. Thank you for reassuring and encouraging me that I'd done the right thing when I broke up with my girlfriend.
I appreciate so much your talent and gift for Drama and singing, and I love the way you make Roo a priority and go all out to make sure he's cared for.
You said earlier today that you didn't just want to be seen as someone's mum, you wanted to be exciting. Well you are exciting and you are smashing and it's not because you're someone's mum - it's because Someone's daughter. He loves you very much and He's not alone in that.
You are a great friend and a great source of blessing and encouragement. It's so exciting to hear what God is doing at your school and I hope that you hear God when He calls out "well done, good and faithful servant."
Keep your eyes on the things above.
Lots of love and blessings, give my love to your family.
Dave
Immediately, I panicked. Despite him trying to be very subtle, I was convinced that Dave fancied me, but I didn't have feelings for him beyond friendship. I knew that I would find it very difficult to say "no" to any advances, as I hated hurting people's feelings and rejecting others. Also, I had finally come to a point in my journey as a single mum, where I was actually happy with being alone, and excited about how I could serve God on my own. So, I prayed. "Please Lord, make this go away. I don't fancy Dave and I don't want a boyfriend. Change his feelings for me."
About a week later, we met again, this time at a party for a friend's birthday. He had come straight from work and was still dressed in his suit. One word could describe my thoughts when he walked in..."Fwoarrrrrr". He looked rather lovely. I remember my faithful friend, Leslea arriving and giving me the big-eyes-have-you-seen-what-I've-seen look. "I'm having visions of weddings", she sung to me, without moving her lips.
That night, Dave and I sat together at dinner, and had a good time. My friend and I gave him a lift home, and the next day he sent me an email containing a limerick. Obviously this was forwarded to all of my girlfriends for analysis, and the general consensus was that he DID like me, I was to organise another night out, go shopping for a new outfit, and prepare myself for an adventure. Sure enough within the week, Dave and I were together.
We'd had a night out clubbing in Reading, and he'd kissed me. That night I remember thinking that my life would never be the same again. I was overwhelmed with a sense of an old chapter closing and a new one beginning. The next day, Leslea and I were having a cup of tea together, and I remember that she said, "I think that this might be it, you know. I think that you might marry Dave." For some reason, I knew that she was right, but I was far too frightened to admit it.
But, somehow I knew that God had stepped in and made something miraculous happen. He had provided a strong, kind, calm, intelligent, good-looking and godly man, for a wild, insecure and rebellious single mum. He had prepared and equipped a hard-working, pure man for the task of being a husband and a father. Despite my running from him for so long, God had walked towards me, with a beautiful gift in His hands; My husband.
Daily, I am reminded that I do not deserve the good things in my life. None of us do, really. But the grace of God is like that. We can run and run in our own direction; one that feels right and seems to be leading to where we want to be, and to the things that were longing for. But is starts to go wrong and we feel like we've totally messed up. But then God steps in, with his love and grace and mercy, and He gently, lovingly shows us the right way. His way. And His way is full of surprises and treats and abundance and goodness.
My way was (eventually) scary, sad, lonely, damaging and dangerous. God's way has provided me with security, love, fun, satisfaction, variety, adventure...and Dave.
Dave and I met in October 2000. I don't actually remember it, but he does. We were at a mutual friend's flat-warming party. He remembers being introduced to me and Roo. Roo was two weeks old and asleep in his car seat. Dave and I went to the same church. I had been part of the church since the age of 5 and Dave had moved to the area for a new job.
Over the year that followed that meeting, Dave and I chatted occasionally. At a barbeque we talked about films and I recall him acting out a section of "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels". It really made me laugh. One Sunday evening after church, Dave and I had sat next to each other at a coffee bar with the rest of the "church lot". He had just returned from visiting a girlfriend. He had told her that he didn't want to continue seeing her. He felt really guilty and we talked about making difficult choices, and how neither of us enjoyed hurting others or letting them down.
Dave had also been a guest at Roo's 1st Birthday party. He had been invited at the last minute, but had turned up with a lovely, thoughtful present for Roo. It was a "Maisy Pop-Up Book". In the weeks that followed, it became a firm favourite with Roo. My mum had become suddenly aware of this eligible young bachelor and mentioned him every now and then!!
After hearing a sermon at church, everything changed. Our pastor spoke on letters. He told us that he had received many critical letters and how difficult it was to receive them. He spoke about how unhelpful they were. He also spoke about how wonderful it had been to receive encouragement and praise in a letter. At the end of his sermon, he challenged us to write at least two letters with the express purpose of encouraging and praising others.
I received a letter from Dave. It read;
Dear Sally,
Thank you for being such a blessing to me. Thank you for being funny and making me laugh. Thank you for reassuring and encouraging me that I'd done the right thing when I broke up with my girlfriend.
I appreciate so much your talent and gift for Drama and singing, and I love the way you make Roo a priority and go all out to make sure he's cared for.
You said earlier today that you didn't just want to be seen as someone's mum, you wanted to be exciting. Well you are exciting and you are smashing and it's not because you're someone's mum - it's because Someone's daughter. He loves you very much and He's not alone in that.
You are a great friend and a great source of blessing and encouragement. It's so exciting to hear what God is doing at your school and I hope that you hear God when He calls out "well done, good and faithful servant."
Keep your eyes on the things above.
Lots of love and blessings, give my love to your family.
Dave
Immediately, I panicked. Despite him trying to be very subtle, I was convinced that Dave fancied me, but I didn't have feelings for him beyond friendship. I knew that I would find it very difficult to say "no" to any advances, as I hated hurting people's feelings and rejecting others. Also, I had finally come to a point in my journey as a single mum, where I was actually happy with being alone, and excited about how I could serve God on my own. So, I prayed. "Please Lord, make this go away. I don't fancy Dave and I don't want a boyfriend. Change his feelings for me."
About a week later, we met again, this time at a party for a friend's birthday. He had come straight from work and was still dressed in his suit. One word could describe my thoughts when he walked in..."Fwoarrrrrr". He looked rather lovely. I remember my faithful friend, Leslea arriving and giving me the big-eyes-have-you-seen-what-I've-seen look. "I'm having visions of weddings", she sung to me, without moving her lips.
That night, Dave and I sat together at dinner, and had a good time. My friend and I gave him a lift home, and the next day he sent me an email containing a limerick. Obviously this was forwarded to all of my girlfriends for analysis, and the general consensus was that he DID like me, I was to organise another night out, go shopping for a new outfit, and prepare myself for an adventure. Sure enough within the week, Dave and I were together.
We'd had a night out clubbing in Reading, and he'd kissed me. That night I remember thinking that my life would never be the same again. I was overwhelmed with a sense of an old chapter closing and a new one beginning. The next day, Leslea and I were having a cup of tea together, and I remember that she said, "I think that this might be it, you know. I think that you might marry Dave." For some reason, I knew that she was right, but I was far too frightened to admit it.
But, somehow I knew that God had stepped in and made something miraculous happen. He had provided a strong, kind, calm, intelligent, good-looking and godly man, for a wild, insecure and rebellious single mum. He had prepared and equipped a hard-working, pure man for the task of being a husband and a father. Despite my running from him for so long, God had walked towards me, with a beautiful gift in His hands; My husband.
Daily, I am reminded that I do not deserve the good things in my life. None of us do, really. But the grace of God is like that. We can run and run in our own direction; one that feels right and seems to be leading to where we want to be, and to the things that were longing for. But is starts to go wrong and we feel like we've totally messed up. But then God steps in, with his love and grace and mercy, and He gently, lovingly shows us the right way. His way. And His way is full of surprises and treats and abundance and goodness.
My way was (eventually) scary, sad, lonely, damaging and dangerous. God's way has provided me with security, love, fun, satisfaction, variety, adventure...and Dave.
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