Seth

Seth, my youngest child, started nursery today - or "pre-school"as it's officially called. We loaded him up with his new Spiderman bag on his shoulders, reminded him to say "please" and "thank you", and left him in the care of others for a whole morning.

This has happened before. Since way before Seth was born, I have attended church most Sundays and from about three months of age, Seth has spent most Sunday morning in a creche in the care of others.

I didn't cry. Neither did Seth. In fact, at one point he told me to let go of his hand so that he could play with his friends. He wasn't worried or sad. He was very excited and showed us this by jumping as we walked up to the nursery gate.

Many people have asked me "what are you going to do with yourself with all of your children at school and nursery?" My stock answer has been "whatever I like!" But, this morning I wasn't able to do "whatever I wanted". On Saturday morning, after clearing out Roo's cupboard, I slipped down the two bottom stairs. After an x-ray, I was told I had a sprained foot....walking is proving a bit uncomfortable and driving is a no-no under instruction from my lovely, thoughtful husband!

So, as I sat in front of the telly at my mum and dad's house, with a blanket over my legs like the elderly women who shared a nursing home with my late Nanny Hayes, I found myself thinking about Seth.

Only three years ago, Seth was so small, that I was able to carry him around with out even feeling his weight. Often I would be chatting with someone for about five minutes before they realised that he was a real baby, and not one of Indy's dollies.

Seth was born 6 weeks early, after an emergency c-section due to pre-eclampsia. During the pregancy, I had gall stones and an enflamed gall bladder. I was in hospital on a morphine drip for nearly two weeks at about 23 weeks pregnant. I had Group B Strep infection at 30 weeks and reduced amniotic fluid seemed to be causing a bit of a problem just after that. At 33 weeks, at a routine appontment with the consultant, he informed me that I would not be going home until after the baby was born. my blood pressure was too high and I had "plus four" protein in my wee - oh the glamour of it all!

The night that Seth was born, I had been feeling weird all day and the lights on the ward seemed very bright. My head was hurting and my relflexes were really good...too good, apparently. The doctors told me to call my husband as our baby would be born by c-section that night. One young, pretty doctor warned us that this baby would be small, would most likely need help with breathing and would not be able to feed. The sucking reflex in babies happens after 36 weeks. I was at 34 weeks by now.

So, like any woman, I took myself off to the bathroom to shave my legs - a desperate cry for dignity. Whilst in the bath, I prayed. I prayed that the baby would be okay. I prayed that despite all that had been said by the doctors, that this baby would be absolutely fine - no problems with the birth, the breathing, and the feeding.

Seth was born at 11.05pm. He weighed 4lbs 14oz and he came out shouting. Breathing was never going to be a problem for Seth. He was small, but he was perfectly formed. He was immediately taken to SCBU. The next afternoon, I visited him, and as I held my tiny son in my arms, his head turned, his mouth opened and he began "rooting" for afternoon tea! I told the SCBU nurses that I was going to try and breastfeed him. They looked at me like I was mad. I wasn't. I knew my baby. Seth immediately latched on and began to feed like a pro.

Within a week, he was home. He was fine. We were scared. He was so much smaller than Roo and Indy had been. He was too small for even the smallest baby clothes. But, he was determined. I remember my mum saying that he would be a go-getter. My bestfriend's mum told me that she felt he would be a singer one day. These things I held onto. On the day when he went all grey around his lips (a bit of wind!!); when we took him into hospital at two months old with bronchilitis; when we were offered monitors and machines for sleep apnoeia; when he struggled to put on weight. These two "promises" kept me going.

Now, Seth is always climbing, dancing, jumping, eating, giggling, making a mess, taking biscuits without asking, opening pots of moisturiser, playing his little guitar and drums, and singing. He IS a go-getter. He IS a singer. And there is more time for more go-getting and singing.

Sending him off to nursery today wasn't that difficult. I didn't cry. I didn't feel sad or scared. We do not plan on having any more children, as we feel that three is enough children for us to effectively parent. So, Seth IS my last child. My baby. But I am excited about all of the things that he will do and about the things that God will do in him. I trust that my baby is in God's hands. God has such adventures in store for Seth. He has a purpose for Seth. He goes before Seth and after him. He has got Seth's back. He had given Seth specific and special gifts that are unique to him. And, Seth will learn and develop. I can't wait to see who he will become.

Today he brought home a painting. I wonder what he will bring home next time? Maybe another painting, or maybe a collage. All I know is, I need to clear some space on my cupboard doors!!