Roo

Today is a really special day. My eldest son, Reuben Daniel, is 9 years old. We rarely call him Reuben - only when he's in trouble. He is know in our family as Roo, or Roo-Roo.

Roo is a particluar kind of person. He is creative, bright, emotional, sociable, strong-willed, a leader, ambitious, sensitive, dramatic, impulsive, funny..and memorable. When people meet him, they are impacted by him. Most people absolutely love him. Many of my creative and theatrical friends love talking to Roo. They find him very entertaining. Roo has encountered all kinds of people, who have met him in a professional capacity - Educational Psychologists, Paediatricians, Speech and Language Therapists, Behavioural experts, teachers, MPs. They have described him as "a charming boy", "a fascinating child", "gifted" and "a delightful chap". Many have seen great potential in Roo as an artist, leader and performer. People remember Roo.

Roo had a very shaky start - he nearly wasn't even born. You see, I was very surprised to find myself pregnant with Roo. I was 22 years old, and in my first year of teaching secondary school Drama when, after a short relationship with Roo's dad, I found myself to be pregnant. I visited my GP to see if a "morning-after pill" was available. He ensured me that there was not, and that my options were to either have the "baby" or have a termination. At this point, I realised how frightened I had been. After this experience, I will NEVER judge a woman for choosing to terminate a pregnancy. I will always try to understand why. It is all too easy to make a decsion based on fear. But, I was blessed with a second chance to make the right choice. As the doctor said the word "baby", I was shaken from the dream-like state that had dominated me since I had taken the test. I suddenly realised what was going on. I was not just "pregnant", I was "having a baby". I was going to be a mummy. Inside me, was my baby. I was instantly in love. Thoughts of my baby, replaced my dream-like state. I was obsessed.

I began to make plans for how I would survive, on my own, with a small baby. I chose names - Reuben Daniel or Daisy Orla. I lived with my parents and younger brother and that's where I would stay. I continued to work full-time and planned to return to work after the birth. I remained in contact with Roo's dad and understood his need to be involved with the baby, if not with me - this was my choice.

Roo was born 5 weeks early on Friday 15th September 2000 - the last night of the first series of "Big Brother"...I missed Craig walking out to fireworks!!! Roo was early because my liver had failed. I had become very itchy and had been diagnosed with Obstetric Cholestasis (look it up!!!) I was initially induced and then after a slightly dramatic labour(typical Roo), had an emergency c-section. Despite being early, Roo weighed 7lbs 6oz!! He was very long, with baggy skin. He breast-fed after a few days and we went home a week later.

Being a single mum was pretty tough, but my family were amazing. At times, things were tough with Roo's dad, but I knew that my God was with me. Reuben means "behold a son". In the Bible, Reuben was Jacob's firstborn. Reuben led a nation. Jacob said that he was the "first sign of (his) strength. Having Roo has made me strong.

Being a Christian, and having a baby before marriage is a bit complicated. According to the Bible, it is not God's design. He invented sex - good move!! - and not just for pro-creation, but also for fun. But He made it for the purpose of bringing married people together. Intimacy, love and mutual enjoyment were what He had in mind. That is not where my pregnancy had come from. So, when I discovered that I was pregnant before getting married, I knew that it would be complicated. It was. I felt very lonely. I felt very guilty. I felt very scared. I felt trapped. I did not feel excited.

But God changed all that. When I was 7 months pregnant, God told me that although I hadn't planned my baby, He had. He knew my baby and had designed him. He loved my baby...and He loved me. I started to become excited about my baby and trusted that God was in charge of me. So, when Roo was early, I was not at all worried.

After he was born, a nurse held Roo and told me the following;

"This is God's baby. The Holy Spirit is upon this child. God will bring you your husband - you must not look for him - God will bring him to you."

It was amazing. Roo is, indeed, God's child. He is not easy to parent. Being strong-willed is just as a leader should be - but a leader does not want to follow, and neither does Roo!! We have many conflicts and it's pretty wearing at times. But, when asked by the Educational Psychologist what his future would hold, Roo told her that he would either "lead a church or be an actor". I think he'll do both. Because, if Roo plans to do something, he does it.

When I picture the kind of man that I want him to become, I realise that's he not far off. What a wonderful revelation!!

Thank you, Lord, for 9 faithful years with Roo - you have never left me, nor forsaken me. Thank you that you "know his frame. You know how he is made. You planned all his days."

Happy Birthday, Roo-Roo. I love you so very much. How precious you are. You surprise me daily. I am so excited to see the adventure that your life is and will be!! The Holy Spirit is definitely on you - what a privilege to be in your life.

Lots of love,

Mummy

xxx