Wednesday 4 February 2015

Confessions of a Homeschool Mumma

I am not a fan of Facebook. Don't get me wrong, I am completely addicted and look at it about seventy times before I've even had my breakfast, but I do not like Facebook at all. My biggest issue with Facebook is my own constant desire to announce exciting events and decisions to the world. I'm not talking about "Look at the cake I made!" or "My child is a genius!" announcements. What I'm talking about are the BIG decisions. Those decisions that are really important, life changing...and so big that the whole world knowing might not be helpful.

In June of last year, we made a BIG decision. We decided to remove our eldest child from school. After years of struggling, our son was only attending school part-time (with agreement with staff.) He and I were studying and working every morning, before the beginning of his school day which was at 11o'clock. We were rather enjoying ourselves. It was easy, peaceful and fun. And I was shocked.

After a meeting with various members of staff, and Local Authority representatives, discussing the next step for our son's education, we concluded that our only option was Homeschooling. We agreed  that staff would ensure that he had a leaving party with his closest friends towards the end of the following day, which would end his time at school.

Let me share with you some truths about homeschooling my son...

Number One - I Never Thought I Would Do This. 
 Let me be clear, for years, I have repeated the following statement, "I'm sure that I should homeschool this boy, but we'd kill each other!" My son and I have a very typical parent/teenager relationship! We argue and greatly differ in our agendas. I am a strict and protective mumma, and he is a determined and increasingly independent creative whirlwind. We are quite a team when our efforts combine, and a veritable storm when in conflict. Our time apart from each other had always been respite for me and refreshing for us both. The thought of constantly being together or even an increased amount of time together was, quite frankly, frightening.

Number Two - We Tried School. We REALLY did.
But he has always found school difficult. He even struggled at nursery. As well as some particular difficulties, he is a true individual. He thinks and feels deeply. His passion for justice and empathy for those who suffer has always set him apart from his peers. His struggles with conforming and his frustration and difficulties in grasping "banter" and sarcasm have made interacting with people his own age extremely challenging. To watch my child head off to school every day filled me with anxiety. As I left him at nursery, and then primary school, every day for 8 years, I always felt worried, knowing that no day would run smoothly. I dreaded the end-of-the-day report facial expression from the class teacher. .Secondary school was no different. I dreaded the phone call, asking me to collect my son, or informing me of his various detentions and exclusions for losing his temper with students and staff alike. School was a stressful and scary place for him. It was a place that angered him, confused him and eventually (according to the theories of his psychiatrist) led him to severe depression. Despite kind, skilled teachers and advisers giving him time, love and their focus, he was still sinking in the school environment.

Number Three - Homeschooling Is Not School at Home.
Firstly, we often are not actually at home. We have found our favourite cafes are often a great place to study. We grab a coffee or a hot chocolate, sit ourselves down in a cosy corner, get books or the laptop out and off we go! We often visit the library, grab some interesting books to read and use the computers in the library to complete research or online learning. There are many group-learning classes that my son could also attend, should he choose. As yet, he hasn't.

Secondly, "schooling" is very different from education and learning. My son has always struggled to grasp information and concepts if they are taught, sitting at a desk in a classroom setting. He has always enjoyed kinesthetic learning (learning through doing/moving.) Practical subjects like Art, Food Tech, Resistant Materials, Drama, PE have been more enjoyable, engaging and successful for him. Likewise, those great teachers that he has had over the years that have identified a need for active learning have had a great impact on him and his love of learning. Unfortunately, we are not all the same - even teachers differ in their style of working!

We have realised that we love Learning by Doing. We cook. We make. We visit places. We meet people. We read books, the newspaper and watch documentaries. We watch a film and discuss the themes, the message, the meaning. We walk and take photos. We ask each other questions. And, we Google stuff. A lot.

Number Four - We Have New Friends
So many times before homeschooling my son, like many, I despaired over the apparent "lack of socialising" opportunities for homeschooled children. Since we have begun to homeschool our son, I cannot count the number of times that we have been asked, "What about friends? Does he see anyone?" I'm afraid, he has no friends. He never sees anyone apart from his family and he is now unable to have a conversation with anyone. In fact, he has forgotten all of his words and never leaves his room...Umm...not really.

As I type, my son is serving at our local Foodbank. He serves there every Wednesday morning. After the Foodbank, he goes along to a local church's Midweek Meeting, where he shares lunch with his grandfather and approximately 40 other people and then joins in the worship and listens to the talk. He then discusses the talk with the other attendees. These people are a diverse bunch: retirees, unemployed adults, one 17 year-old homeschooled young man, adults with learning difficulties, at-home mums. He confidently converses with all of these people and has even spoken at one of the meetings, sharing his personal thoughts on faith. In December, he had his own Christmas Do - The Foodbank Team Christmas Meal. He sat with 12 retired friends, laughed and chatted and had a fantastic time. These people love him and are teaching him how adults behave. He is learning how to speak kindly and work together in a healthy environment.

Every second Friday, he attends a Home Schoolers Youth Group with about 40 other 11-18 year olds. They discuss, they play games and sports, they chat, they use the recording studio and they have special trips to the bowling alley and Laserquest.

Every Saturday, he rehearses with a local youth theatre, and every Friday night he attends our church youth group.

My son has more close friends now than ever before. He has more invitations to hang out, go places and have fun than ever before. He now can see that he is worthy of being liked and that his individuality is a strength and is admired by many. His new friends are equally as individual and, therefore, open-minded and accepting. So, he now actually likes himself.

We have met so many new people and made friends of many of them. We have been encouraged and inspired by their experiences, and by the excellent attitude and behaviour of their children. It is so good to meet children and young people who are fascinated by the world around them, thoughtful and observant of the lives of others, and truly excited about their future. Although I have met schooled children with these qualities, I have never before seen such a concentration of them as I have in the homeschooled community. It is inspiring and so very exciting.

Number Five - The Truth Is Out There
Did you know the following:
1.It is YOUR RIGHT as a parent to remove your child from school permanently.
2.Home Education is a form of private education and is entirely valid as a means of educating your child.
3.Private/independent schools are at liberty to employ untrained/unqualified teachers. It therefore makes sense that to be a home educator you do not need to be trained or qualified.
4.There is no funding available for Home Education.
5. It is not a legal requirement to follow the National Curriculum, nor to study for GCSE or A'Level exams.
6. Universities and colleges are mindful of students who have received "alternative education" and value experience and portfolios very highly.
7. There is a vast Homeschool community all over the world, connecting families with excellent resources and other families.
8. The time taken for assemblies, register, behaviour managment and teaching at differentiated levels, verses one-on-one teaching means that far less "learning time" is necessary in Home Education than in a school setting.

Number Six - My Heart and My Mind Is Changing
I am learning that:
Different does not always mean wrong.
Good does not always mean right.
Good structures have some flexibility.
Qualified does not mean employable or employed.
Childhood is for wandering and wondering.
Rushing means we miss things.
Questions are the beginning of discovery.
I REALLY like hanging out with my children.
God has a plan. He is our provider and not my husband's employer or the government. I will put my trust in Him.
Life is to be lived; not spent, endured, missed or wasted.

I'm not going to criticise anyone who chooses school for their child. I still have two children in the state school system and they are happy, progressing and doing fine. But, I feel very differently to how I felt (only months ago) about Homeschooling. For many of us, it is more than a "valid" option. It is a new, exciting and wonder-ful adventure, than I am absolutely loving.

This post is entitled "Confessions of a Homeschool Mumma". So, in conclusion, let me make my confessions...
I still get cross with my kids.
I still enjoy time on my own.
I am longing to homeschool all of my children (but will allow them to make their own decision.)
Although I am not stressed, I am definitely ready for bed by the end of the day, and I'm sleeping VERY well! It's tiring learning all day long!!
(And most importantly...)
I now have secret stashes of chocolate for emergencies.






3 comments:

Paul said...

What a fantastic Mum and Teacher you are Sally. I'm so pleased that Reuben is thriving in this environment. Lots of Love Paul, Carol and George x

Paul said...

What a fantastic Mum and Teacher you are Sally. I'm so pleased that Reuben is thriving in this environment. Lots of Love Paul, Carol and George x

Anonymous said...

Fabulous! Thanks for sharing so openly. You are clearly ordained for this xxx Anna