How Long?

How long has it been since I last wrote? Too long, is my answer as I LOVE to do this and I feel fidgety if I don't write... There's no real reason, other than life getting in the way - school runs, coffee with girlfriends, making stuff (pin cushions for leaving teachers, bridesmaid dresses for my brother's wedding, jam for the winter after foraging sessions with the kids, an amazing veggie patch that has given out strawberries, carrots, broccoli, courgettes, peas, bean, corn....awesome), family holidays, school holidays...It's all just "stuff". Important stuff, sure, but it's the same stuff that distracts me from precious time I should be spending with Jesus and time I should be spending just "being", breathing, watching, thinking, writing, praying....

If I look back, I have often asked the question, "how long?" As we returned from a recent holiday to Kent, we stopped for an urgent skinny hazelnut latte....I stood in a slow, long queue, waiting to be served. A kind and smiley barista calmly and carefully took his time with each order, making sure the foam was of a high quality, that the espresso was smooth and not too strong or weak, gently, but firmly placing the lid onto each cup, ensuring a pleasurable coffee for each customer. What fantastic service, all with a smile. And yet, it was not fast enough for me. When I finally received my coffee, faking a smile, thanking him through gritted teeth, I grumbled to my poor, long-suffering husband as we left the service station, stating the wait to be the longest I had EVER experienced for a coffee, and asking him to remind me to avoid this coffee shop in future. The coffee, incidentally, was delicious and was demolished in minutes.

I am just terrible at waiting. Waiting seems so unnecessary. It seems like needless torture. It seems like a cruel joke that God plays on us to show us that He is really in charge and there's nothing we can do about it.

A month or so ago, I was invited to speak at a church in Surrey. And I spoke on Waiting. At the time, we were waiting for money to buy a car. Ours had broken and we therefore were relying on lifts from friends, local buses and our feet!! I had been waiting for healing from depression for about three years. I had been waiting for a diagnosis for our son, who has found the school environment pretty tough since he got there!! We had waited for a new job for Dave after redundancy. I had watched friends wait for healing from cancer, other friends wait for a baby. I had waited for a new ministry to unfold for me. For such a long time I have longed to speak, to preach to share what God is telling me, and how He is changing and teaching me. I had prayed, I had been prayed for and I had been anointed with oil!! By a real-life pastor!!! (And I had been waiting for my husband to fix the cupboard door under the stairs....)

I spoke about how God wants to use us as we wait. He has an urgent use for our gifts and strengths while we wait. He has a place for each of us to serve while we wait. He wants to use our waiting to teach us patience, yes, but He will also change us while we wait. He takes us through periods of waiting, not just to make us appreciate the time when He finally answers our questions or when He blesses us with what we have longed for, but also so that we can learn how to trust Him, believe in Him and become more like Him.

At the moment, I am waiting. I am waiting for God to show us where to go, what to do and when to do it. I have a history of impatience and it seems that I also have a history of forgetfulness. Because, in my life, I have often waited. I have not collapsed under the pressure or been disappointed with God's intervention. An intervention, I might add, that has always come, in His time.

You see, God did not give us money for a new car. He gave us a car. A generous family in our amazing church passed on their Honda CRV - big enough for our three kids and us, in great condition, with a full MOT and service.

God has delivered me from the hold that depression had over my life. I am still careful to rest, medicate myself and look out for the signs, but I am no longer bound by the fear of a breakdown.

We have a clear and correct diagnosis for our son - Autistic Spectrum Disorder. He understand his feelings now and, although we are still on a journey, we feel better able to understand him and guide him well.

Dave got a new job, and there was not a day when we went without food, treats and fun.

We have known four people who have been given the all-clear of cancer - one I only learned of today!!! Cancer has killed some, but we have seen restoration in the lives of their husbands, wives and children, and we have been greatly comforted by the sure and certain knowledge of their eternal life with Jesus!!

We have seen a number of miracle babies born after long waits, and also we have seen orphaned and abandoned children blessed with new, loving, adoptive parents.

More opportunities and invitations to speak have emerged, and I have loved every minute, feeling so very encouraged and blessed, by sharing in other people's journey with Jesus.

God has not let me down. He has not ignored me. He has answered and He has blessed me. The cupboard door for under the stairs is still not fixed.....but I can wait!

Check out my latest article.... www.heyuguys.co.uk/2011/04/15/so-my-husband-is-a-film-nerd-confessions-of-a-cine-widow/ Let me know what you think!!!

New York

Dave and I recently took a trip to New York. I know!! New York!!! We got in a real aeroplane, flew a long way away, and then landed in the United States of America and went to New York!!! It was completely amazing, seeing sights we've seen on TV and in films, eating a hotdog on the street, bought from a vendor on the street, seeing an NYPD cop on a horse on the pavement, riding in yellow taxi - the real deal. It was amazing. I could go on and on for pages about everything that we did and saw, but I'm going to keep it brief...
Thursday...
Leave the UK at 8pm
Land 8 hours later in Newark, New Jersey.
Meet our gorgeous friends, the Nicksons, and drive to their house in Summit, NJ.
Chat, eat paninis, pass out.

Friday...
Early morning brekkie at home.
Run for train.
Miss train.
Pop over to Manhattan Bagel for coffee.
Train to New York City.
Get very excited when seeing Empire State Building from train.
Walk from Penn Station to Times Square.
Do lots of filming with my brother's flip cam.
Toys R US, Hershey's Store, Build a Bear Workshop.
Walk up 7th Avenue to FAO Schwartz
See the BIG piano (you know the one?)
See edge of Central Park.
Hail yellow cab to Ground Zero.
Ground Zero under construction, but visit preview memorial. Very moving.
Walk back through Greenwich Village.
Stop for yum deli sandwich and burger.
See and stand outside the Huxtable Residence - I have an addiction to the Cosby Show!!!
Walk back to Penn to get train.
Nearly die of exhaustion on train.
Arrive back in Summit to meet the youth from the Nickson's new church.
Dinner with Dave & Roey at fab restaurant. Yum food.
Go home. Pass out again.

Saturday...
Drive into NYC.
Eat amazing Eggs Benedict at Pershing Square Cafe, opposite Grand Central Station
Walk to Rockefeller
NBC Studios tour...fab...especially Sam Nickson's weatherman debut...AMAZING
Macy's
Starbucks
Home for lovely dinner...clever Roey.
Chilling in front of TV.
Ridiculously early and unsociable bedtime for me...sorry guys.

Sunday...
Lie in...lovely
Buffet breakfast in Morristown, NJ, with Sam & Dave - great conversation, yummy food.
Church @ Liquid - a fantastic and inspiring church...we get all excited about our calling and what God wants OUR church to be like!!!!!
Buffet lunch in Morristown with Dave, Roey & Sam - again great conversation, yummy food.
Home to chill.
Pop to Walmart and grab some beers for....
The Superbowl!!!! Party with munchies, drinks and great company - a lovely Teo, The Ropers, The Nicksons and the Adamsons. None of us notice Christina Aguliera's mistakes, but we LOVE the Black Eyed Peas' half-time entertainment!!!
Chilled evening.

Monday...
Train into NYC
Yellow cab to...
Ice skating in Central Park
Lunch at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. - AMAZING coconut shrimps...
Subway to Staten Island Ferry.
Starbucks....short of 53 cents, and a lady gives me a dollar. We chat, we laugh...great to be told I don't look like a tourist!!!
Ferry to Staten Island - great views of Manhattan skyline and Statue of Liberty...I recall lines from "Clueless" ("And may I remind you, that it does not say RSVP on the Statue of Liberty!") (we didn't get close enough for me to check) and imagine I am Melanie Griffiths in "Working Girl" on my way to work (big hair, power suit, trainers, Carly Simon singing "Jerusalem" in the background.)
Subway back to Penn.
Train back to Summit.
Panini kindly and expertly made by Roey.
Hugs, kisses, messages filmed for Roo.
Car ride to Newark.
Hugs, kisses, more filming.
Flight leaves 2 hours late.
Home in England by 11.30am.

Wow - what an adventure - I'm sure I've forgotten loads. But, there's one thing I can't forget, and that is the servant heart of so many people we met in America. It was summed up in one phrase; "You're welcome". We had so much to thank people for; directions, food, quick service, information, smiles. Those people were happy to serve us. "You're welcome". I've started to say it to my children when they say "thank you", but I still cannot quite say it in the same way. Because, it's not just a phrase, it's an attitude.

Our trip to New York was amazing, a once-in-a-lifetime trip. We were blessed to spend time with our precious friends, the Nicksons, to whom we owe so much. We loved going to Liquid Church - a great place that will always have had a huge impact on us. And we were set an amazing example of being a servant by that great waiter in Greenwich Village, that friendly train guard at Penn, the smiley shop assistant in the Build a Bear Workshop, the hundreds of police officers, the awesome servers in Bubba Gump, the leaders and members of Liquid, the lovely, polite young neighbour of our friends.

I really hope that when I serve others, that they will know that I love to serve them, and that they are truly welcome.

PS - photos to follow!!!

With this first post of 2011, I thought I'd keep it real and blog about something homemade!!! So...

A while ago I saw a great film, "Stranger Than Fiction". Whilst it is a story about about living your life to the fullest, and seizing opportunities while you can, and while it asks the question, "If you knew that this was your last day on Earth, what would you do?", I was not moved to go travelling or to tell my loved-ones that they were...well,...loved.

I was, however, motivated to create a new Roper Family Tradition. Regular readers of my blog will know that there are many Roper Family Traditions, and that I am a BIG fan of them!!!

In one scene of "Stranger Than Fiction", a tired (and burdened) accountant is firmly told sit down in front of a glass of cold milk and a plate of homemade cookies. This instruction comes from a young woman, who runs a local bakery. Not only does she give this instruction, but she creates the environment for it, by making the cookies herself. She talks to the man about her childhood and how, whenever she felt sad, broken-hearted or burdened, her mother would sit her down, in the same way. She speaks about how eating the cookie, and drinking the cold milk, would somehow restore her weary heart, comforting and nourishing her, both body and soul.

I love to watch the scene where the accountant sits, shoulders hunched, eyes downcast, at a small table, all by himself, silently eating the warm cookie, and slowly sipping the cold milk. As the camera pans out, the viewer is left with a sense that this man is experiencing a mother's love, comfort and cherishing for the very first time.

After watching that film, I found myself obsessed with cookie recipes. I wanted to provide that safe, loving, warm, restoring environment for my children. So, although it is not very English, I began to make cookies and milk a new Roper Family Tradition.

The following is a recipe that Seth and I created this afternoon. It is adapted from another recipe that I found in one of my fantastic cookbooks, and added to, to satisfy my insatiable need for chocolate!! Enjoy...

Seth & Sal's Peanut Butter & Chocolate Chunk Cookies

Ingredients

1 and a 1/4 cups of plain flour

1/2 tsp bicarb

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 cup of soft butter

1 cup of caster sugar

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 and a 1/2 cups of crunchy peanut butter

200g bar of dark chocolate (bashed into chunks)

Pre-heat the oven to Gas Mark 4.

Combine all the ingredients (except the chocolate) in a food processor.

Pulse in the chocolate chunks.

Roll into walnut-size balls and flatted on your palm.

Lay (well-spaced) on a greased baking tray.

Bake for 12-15 mins or until slightly browned.

Leave to cool on tray for one minute only.

Lift with fish slice onto cooling rack.

Serve, along with a glass of cold milk, to dishevelled children after school, at the table and wait for the short-lived silence.

Snowy Days

Pretty predictable, I know, but I decided to blog about the snow. I love it. I love the way that it changes out landscape, the way that it falls so silently and causes such chaos. Well, it causes chaos in England!! I love playing in the snow with my kids. I love making snowmen, igloos and sledging. I am not a fan of snowball fights (I'm a bit of a girl like that) but any hilarity in the snow, followed by a mug of hot chocolate is a good thing, as far as I'm concerned.

I grew up in a great church, where the pastor prayed for snow every Christmas. I joined him in his heartfelt genuine prayers, which have not been answered...until this year!!! I think that this will be the first White Christmas I have ever seen, and to say that I am excited would be an understatement!! I am so excited to see the line of snow balancing on the top of the wall outside, as I look through my bay window, which is studded with the reflection of little golden tree lights. As I wrap presents, sip my tea, and watch Christmas films, I seem to be glimpsing out every five minutes, just to make sure that the snow hasn't thawed, or just in case it has started to snow again!

I know that snow causes lots of problems. I know that it stops emergency vehicles from getting to people in need of help. I know that the cold weather causes even bigger problems for those with no heating and those with chronic painful conditions. I know that getting from A to B becomes a big issue. This morning, I read that the economy may be headed for another downturn due to a lack of shoppers. I understand the difficulty for those trying to get to work, school, hospitals and family. I cannot even begin to imagine a night on the streets in the snow.

But, bearing in mind all of the problems that the snow causes, I am still grateful for what it does. I makes us to stop. It lets us remain inside, with family. It gives us the opportunity to play together. It forces us to "make do" with our available supplies of food. It causes us to consider those who we cannot get to, and therefore how much we value those friends and family. It encourages us to empathise with those who may be without heat, a roof, a family.

This afternoon, Dave, the kids and I went out to a nearby park to go sledging. As I looked out on the park, the railway that runs alongside it, the duck pond at the edge and the trees which enclose it, I found myself asking God what he wanted to say to me in the midst of this unusual weather. As I walked, I noticed how quiet everything was. I could here the water rushing under a drain cover. I could here the individual voices of the children, including mine, who were playing. It was very, very peaceful - quite a contrast from my "normal life".

It made me thankful as I considered that chaos to us, is a plan from God. As life goes on hold after various surprises in life, both good and bad, God is never surprised and uses the times for his Glory and for our good. God wants us to stop. He wants us to rest on certain experiences. He doesn't want everything to "fly by". He sometimes wants us to take time to play, laugh, sleep, grieve, think, listen, snuggle, watch. Our natural reaction to chaos is to kick against it. We try to get to where we want to go, even if it isn't safe. But, God has us where we are for a reason. He doesn't make mistakes and he never leaves us. With that in mind, shouldn't we take surprises and chaos and use them to our advantage? We need to submit to chaos sometimes. It's there for a reason.

Advent

As Christmas nears, I find myself living a life of busyness and creativity. I am far too busy to sit and look, sit and moan, or sit and think. At the moment, my blogging seems to reflect that! I have been mainly sharing ideas, recipes and creative projects with you, and I'm afraid that this post will be no different.
Only this morning, Seth was asking me how many "sleeps" there are until the end of November. This is because, he is waiting for that day, as on that morning, he will be putting on his school uniform, ready for his first visit to his new primary school. As we counted the days until the 30th, we discovered that he only had seven sleeps left. It was shortly after this calculation that it dawned on me that I have only eight sleeps left until the beginning of Advent - without a doubt my favourite time of the year!!!
And so, this afternoon, I have been preparing our Advent Calendar. A few years ago, I was a part of an amazing team, who ran a Mums and Toddlers group called Sparklers - it was the best toddler group in the land!!! We loved it. The team was solid, and we loved each other and the families that we served. We'd often have Mum's Nights, and the one that I particularly relished was the Christmas Craft Evening. It was always held at the end of November and we'd have a great time. Candles everywhere, mulled wine bubbling away, Christmassy music being played, a bit of entertainment, a bit of a talk and lots of different "stations" to move around. The stations would usually be things like, wire decoration-making, How to Wrap a Pressie, mince pies, glass painting, Make a Table Centre, sewing a tree decoration, and so on. I LOVED it!!!
One year, a lady named Helen, who is a great mum, wife and daughter of God, stood up and spoke (something she wasn't keen on!) She told us about her Advent Calendar. She had a calendar with little pockets in. She told us that her children would find something in each pocket, each day. She handed out pieces of paper with Bible verses for each day, and ideas for special Christmas jobs to do each day also. Excitedly, I took my handouts home and assembled our advent calendar, which had previously only housed Galaxy Minstrels.
Since then our Advent Calendar has always presented our children with three treats on each day of the Advent period. As they pop their little fingers into the appropriate pocket for that day, they find a Bible verse, a Christmas job and a little chocolate each. Each day, their different Christmas job moves more and more into the Christmas Mood. One day, they might be making some shortbread, the next day delivering to friends to wish them a Merry Christmas. Another day, they might be snuggled up in the front the fire watching "Santa Claus - The Movie", whilst another they might sit together in their rooms, reading old Christmas books. We also make the school Christmas celebrations a part of our Advent activities, and so we mark the Tree Decorating Ceremony, as well as the School Nativity Play. Our church is very busy around Christmas time, and whilst Dave and I rehearse for various performances, the children are instructed, by the calendar, to "Write your Christmas cards!". You see, although the Advent calendar is only a small calendar, and although the delving into each pocket takes seconds, this new kind of Advent Calendar has changed our Advent completely.
As I listen to the radio, and I hear children call in to tell of what picture they have found behind the door of their calendar, I often wonder what impact a picture of a bell, a present or a fairy have those children. I then think of my kids, learning more of the real story of Christmas, having the enjoyment and excitement of making shortbread to deliver to friends, watching a favourite Christmas film, reading an old Christmas book, writing their Christmas cards and going on our annual "Pyjama Ride". The impact of their Advent Calendar is endless, and creates memories at every turn.
My kids still ask for shop-bought, chocolate-filled Doctor Who, Hello Kitty and Ben 10 Advent Calendars. But as I remind them of our special calendar, the expressions on their faces change to those of pure excitement, at the prospect of all the adventures, activities and surprises that our calendar brings.
So, whether you grab a fabric calendar with pockets, a wooden calendar with drawers or 24 odd socks, pinned up around the house, how about making Advent a really special time in your family? Enjoy more time together and less time stressing. Enjoy the simple pleasures of this mid- winter festival, and do less spending. And even if you can't find the energy to sort out every day, grab your family, watch a Christmas film (National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation always works a treat), read The Grinch and eat some mince pies. It's so worth it.

Indy's Birthday Party

Well, the 5th November saw us celebrate another birthday in the life of our daughter, Indy. It was her 7th birthday, and it was great fun. I have never had enough money to hold a party at a restaurant, or at a local soft-play centre, or even in a hired hall. I have not had enough money to hire an entertainer, or to have party bags full-to-the-brim of personalised gifts, pre-packed by a lovely company. Even our own wedding was largely homemade and low-budget.

As a child, before my birthday parties, my dad made annual trips into the woods near our house to "find" young trees to chop down and turn into poles for hanging crepe paper streamers, that would hang across our back garden with multi-coloured balloons. Dad would usually make a mix-tape of whatever songs were fashionable at the time, as well as Stevie Wonder's "Happy Birthday" the "Theme from Fame" and Olivia Newton-John's "Let's Get Physical" (and yes, I really did think it was all about exercise!!) He would also put together games of all sorts, that generally involved getting very messy, very giggly, and being rewarded with little prizes from the local toy shop. I remember one year, maybe my 9th birthday, he had devised a treasure hunt around the garden, that involved working out all sorts of riddles and puzzles. So much fun!!! My mum always made an amazing birthday cake - an owl, a teddy bear, a country cottage, a record player - and created quite an outstanding spread of sausage rolls, dinky sandwiches with various fillings, Party Ring biscuits, hula hoops, Twiglets and Iced Gems. Jelly and ice cream in abundance always followed, and fizzy drinks like limeade and cherryade, which we only had for parties, would be poured until over-flowing. Mum put together great party bags with pencils, party blowers, tiny packs of pencils and those plastic moving snakes. Of course, everyone went home with a slice of Mum's amazing cake, and when they had left, Mum and Dad marvelled at all of the lovely presents that my friends had brought for me.

I have followed in my parents' footsteps with my own children's parties - all homemade (by necessity) and full of food, games and fun. Indy's party this year was no different!! I thought that you might be interested in what we did, as, in my researching for ideas and hints, I discovered a few blogs that featured a "How to..." for their parties. So, here we go...

Indy asked for a chocolate party. As we talked about it more, it developed into a "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" Party. It was going to be fairly low-key, as I try to remained de-stressed as the dark nights close in, and my depression often starts to rear it's ugly head. However, as soon as Roo, my 10 year-old son came up with the idea of Golden Tickets for the invites, it spiralled wildly out of control!!!! We decided to put the tickets inside chocolate bars, and as the only appropriate chocolate bars (wrapped in foil and then in a paper sleeve) were Nestle, which I tend to avoid, I found myself buying huge Cadbury's Dairy Milk bars which I then broke into small slabs, ready for wrapping. I used gold wrapping paper for the foil and made my own sleeves which I designed on the computer. I was just delighted with them, especially when I saw the guests' faces, and heard their squeals of delight, as they opened them on the playground one morning!!!

So, we then began to plan the party in detail. We decorated the house with paper bunting made using old scrap-booking papers and colourful balloons. As the children waited outside with their parents, they ate squirrel and star-shaped gingerbread biscuits. Roo dressed up as Willy Wonka, welcoming the guests and collecting their tickets on arrival. Dave had made a big contract, which the children signed, just like in the old Willy Wonka film with Gene Wilder.

As we were clearly unable to make our whole house edible, in the living room, I created an Edible Garden, which included a gingerbread house, green coconut grass, edible rice paper flowers, brown sugar soil, an edible veggie patch made with dried cranberries, rainbow drops, sprinkles and red fizzy laces. The kids silently stared at the Edible Garden, mouths and eyes wide, before being told that they could eat the whole thing!!! They then proceeded to really go for it!!!

"Willy Wonka" then led them into the dining room, where they helped themselves to the Lolly Tree, met an Oompa Loompa (my future sister-in-law, Heather) who was "spinning" fine strawberry laces on my spinning wheel, and ate of her wares. They had a game of Pass the Parcel, where little Emily won the prize of a tube of Jelly Tots, and then made their way outside.

"Willy Wonka" led them into the Tunnel of Delights (the side path to our back garden) which had been decorated with candles, fairy lights and ribbons, upon which hung mini chocolate bars, sweets, lollies, chews, candy canes and more laces.

They popped their treasure into little plastic cups, labelled with small bunting triangles with their names on, and then walked through into the house to be greeted with a basket full of marshmallows and a flowing chocolate fountain!!!

After this, they sat in a circle to play The Chocolate Game - you know, the one with a die, over sized coat, scarf, gloves and hat and chocolate bar to be chopped up with a knife and fork? - even the shy kids got stuck in!!! We re-grouped with a party tea of funky sandwiches, mini choccie cupcakes, crisps of all shapes and Fizzy Lifting Drinks (the essential cherryade, limeade and orangeade.)

The children gathered in the living room to watch Indy open her presents, and then sat down in front of the old version of "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory", whilst they waited for their parents' to arrive. I couldn't resist pouring the full jars of sweets into their little hands and laps, just at the point that the shop keeper in the film does the same thing, as he sings, "The Candy Man". It made an complete mess of my living room carpet, but the kids loved it.

As they left, full of sugar, pupils fully-dilated, I couldn't help but feel that we'd done a good job. A homemade party is definitely a lot of work (my first diagnosis of depression was after a homemade party three years ago!!) but it is so much cheaper and really satisfying. And I think that the kids who came will remember it for a long time.